Closure

With the new year just around the corner, it’s no doubt time to take stock of the blessings in your life, make resolutions, and of course, tie up any loose ends that may be holding you back a little (or a lot, depending on how loose those ends really are).

Whether it be a project you’ve been working on but never finished or a relationship that ended with some unanswered questions or things left unsaid, there’s something about the end of the year that forces us to take action and get things done. There’s probably a reason why December is Procrastination Awareness Month – we all want to push things to the last possible moment!

If you find yourself looking for answers you never got or the need to say things to that someone in your past, might I recommend the following:

1. Have a plan. Write your thoughts and questions down, talk them over with a friend (if you’re comfortable), and be prepared for the answers or response, whether you like what is said or not.

2. Decide if you are comfortable having the conversation in person or over the phone. E-mail and text should be a last resort, but if needed, be careful with the words you use because your tone and feeling may not translate the way it would if you spoke to the person.

3. Be sincere. Remember, this is for your benefit – the closure you’ve been seeking. Don’t mask your feelings or emotions and be yourself. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to throw something at the other person (like your fist to their face), well...maybe don't do that! :)

No matter what your situation, closure can bring you one step closer to a happy, healthy future. And remember, “If one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window.” Those inspiring words compliments of Rascal Flatts.

Here’s to closing the door on one year and opening the door to another. Cheers friends!

Have tool belt, will travel ...

I'm now convinced that there are very few things sexier than a man with tools who knows how to use them. Take "D," the guy I'm dating, for instance. We're nine Wednesdays (our date night) into our relationship, and last night he whips out his wire cutters, a box overflowing with wires (yes...only wires) and splices into a strand of outside Christmas lights and connects them to a new wire with a plug...and POW, they're once again usable. Girls, doesn't that beat the guy with the Abercrombie abs ALL DAY LONG!! So far, he's connected a light kit to my ceiling fan, hooked up my new HD tv and VCR, checked and replaced my air filters (without asking), fixed the hose on my washing machine, and oiled my garage door. And that's just a sample. Now that's hot. Super hot.
Fixes like that in my world typically get placed on hold indefinitely, or I end up overspending on a Handy Bob housecall. Definitely one of the drags of being a single, working mom. Sure, I could have lived without a ceiling fan light, or gone a little while longer on my filters. But how nice, to have the icemaker that never worked right, now working like a charm (true story, and Fix #1).
BTW, don't get me started on his kitchen utensils. I'll save that for another day.

It’s all in the icing

Every year my girlfriends and I get together for an annual holiday cookie exchange. Basically, it’s an excuse for us to get together, eat, drink and be merry! You never know the conversations that will be had around a table of 10 women, especially after a few festive cocktails, but this year’s party took the cookie (yes, pun intended).

While the actual “cookie decorating” part of the cookie party is typically my least favorite part, the conversations around the decorating table kept me more than entertained. Conversations spanned the grid from the usual kids, husbands, families, etc. to the not-so-typically-covered bad kissers and naughty comments about the sugar cookie icing, particularly the “white” icing. Ahahaha!

The bad kisser conversations really got me thinking though…can you really have a relationship with a bad kisser? The overwhelming answer from the group, NO, and I agree. One friend even went as far as to say she’d take a good kisser over a really hot guy.

No doubt we’ve all experienced a bad kiss or two in our lives, but the good ones more than make up for it. Cherish those moments and the person those kisses come from. And if you're lucky enough to still be with that great kisser, find some mistletoe my friend – tis the season! Whether it’s a first kiss or the 1,245, 976 kiss, if it’s a good one, it’s like the icing on the cookie!

Being thankful

Although the Thanksgiving holiday is behind us, it’s important we all take a minute to give thanks for all we have in our lives. Whether it be a new love interest (a la wednite_43), flourishing dating life, amazing friends and family, fulfilling career, endless optimism or profound happiness, there’s much to be thankful for each and every day.

A little bit stronger

Anyone that's been in a relationship that didn't work out for one reason or another knows the pain of getting over that relationship. As painful as it is, it's part of the process and, with each experience, makes us a little bit stronger and prepares us for the next relationship. If we're lucky enough, the next one will be "the one," but if not, don't forge on with regrets, but rather lessons learned!

Wednesdays are steaming up!

My Wednesday nights have been flying by. Number five and six to be exact with D, my boyfriend, in our total BFGF bliss. Sigh...and then puke, we make you sick, right!

Seriously though. Dream date numeral six Wednesday consisted of an AHMAAZING pot roast that stewed in his crock pot all day. D brought over the ingrediants and cooking gadgets (he owns a garlic press and isn't afraid to use it) to my house morning of--and proceeded to make one of the best comfort foods of all time. Add to the atmosphere a roaring fire in my fireplace and a string of "Top Chef Just Desserts" episodes culminating in the finale, and we serve up yet another super hot, memorable date. Nice.

Back up to my fifth Wednesday with D. By now, he's met my kids. I've met his parents, his brothers, and their families. He's cooked for me, I've cooked for him. We've done laundry together, grocery shopped, and experienced all the typical day-to-day stuff with each other. We've done my softball games, played tennis, golf, darts, shuffleboard, and rolled dice. We're now in the comfort zone. So what better than a great rental, great dinner and another great Wednesday night.

Sheesh. Life is good when shared, isn't it.

GG's in town!

So my sharp-as-a-wip, 88 year-old Grandmother, who my kids most affectionately refer to as "GG," just arrived for a visit. She's from the Chicago area, where I grew up, is my role model, my mentor, can tell you the starting White Sox lineup if you ask her, makes the BEST chocolate eclairs, and is, um, well very opinionated. Always full of compliments...like "your kids are beautiful...so smart--Sofia reminds me exactly like you when you were a kid." Says all of the right things (and truly means them) making you beam with pride and joy, just the way she always did when I was a kid. Oh, and I did I mention that she is, um, well a little protective?

My boyfriend is no exception. She'll be meeting D for the first time at Sunday dinner. Before I even finished telling her about him, she immediately began quizzing me without hesitation...how did you meet(really online?)...did you warn him about us (we're a little outspoken if you haven't surmised that by now) ...what does he do...how many kids does he have...when kind of car does he drive...who left who in his marriage (really Grandma!)...does he have money in the bank (her words exactly). Not meant in a judging way, just statements in the form of questions to ensure that he is good enough for her granddaughter.

Love that. I want to be her when I grow older. Full of life, full of laughter, full of wisdom. Oh, and I can't wait for her to meet D.

I’m not cut out to be a clown…

Confession time…clowns kind of scare me! There’s something about an adult that dresses up in funny clothes, paints their face and spends their time playing with balloons and entertaining small children. One thing I admire about clowns though is their ability to juggle.

Let me just say, juggling is SO NOT my thing. And I’m not talking about scarves, fruit or tiny little balls either. I’m talking about juggling the wonderful world of dating, and when luck is on your side, dating more than one person at the same time. Let’s just say there have been a couple “keepers” from my POF fishing experiment and it’s been a lot of fun meeting new people the last few weeks, but at what point do you decide juggling more than one prospect is not the best solution – for you or for them? And what if you make the wrong decision?

I don’t yet have an answer to either of these questions. I realize that dating is all about getting to know new people, finding someone you have a connection with and seeing where it goes. Casually dating more than one guy at a time is fine, as long as you’re honest with yourself and the other people in the equation.

Juggling is necessary though as you weed through the clutter to find that person you really have a connection with and want to move forward to something more serious. I would say it’s at that point when it’s time to retire your juggling act and move on to the trapeze where your stomach flutters, your heart beats with excitement and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you fly through the air and entertain others and yourself with a new adventure!

Brand “ME”

I’ve come to learn there’s a difference between my work self and my personal self. Not a big difference, but I am much more forgiving of my faults in my personal life than my professional. One thing is constant though and that’s my “E-Squared” brand. It’s funny because branding is a term used a lot in the professional world, but I think we all lose sight of just how important our personal brand is in life, especially our dating life.

So what is a brand? According to Wikipedia, “A brand is the identity of a specific product, service, or business and can take many forms, including a name, sign, symbol, color combination or slogan. The word brand has continued to evolve to encompass identity - it affects the personality of a product, company or service.”

In the case of your personal brand, YOU are the product and how you position yourself can really make a difference in how you are perceived by others, and yes, even potential suitors! How define your brand? I recently had to do this for work, and surprisingly, I learned a lot about myself and what I have to offer – whether it be to my job or a mate. To begin, you have to build your own brand platform…

Brand Attributes: Identify four or five attributes that describe you as a person.
Empathetic, Positive, Trusted, Motivating, Nurturing

Brand Persona: If your brand were a person—or type of person—who would it be?
I am the brand that continues to think strategically and identify new solutions to solve problems. I am confident, energetic, innovative, engaging, clever, creative and committed to succeeding as an individual and a team.

Value Proposition: A statement that positions your value to a range of audiences.
With an abundance of successes and lessons learned from personal and professional experiences, E-Squared strives to live each day to its fullest. With a focus on motivating others and being a trusted partner at work and at home, my goal is to seize every opportunity and learn from it, all while having fun and sharing the experience with others. My priorities are my family, friends and making the most of my life.

Vision: You vision has to present consistency and should convey what you do and how you accomplish this.
The people we surround ourselves with, in our personal and professional lives, are what makes us whole, and without a strong, positive relationship with those people, we can’t be successful. As a trusted partner, I am committed to fostering a positive, fun, and inclusive environment for everyone to enjoy.

Essence: Brand Essence is the heart and soul of a brand – a brand’s fundamental nature or quality.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no-one's watching.
Sing like no-one's listening.
Live like there's no tomorrow.

Once you define your personal brand, you’ll be amazed how much it changes your approach to dating. Much like in business where you try to partner with products or services that align with your brand, you’ll soon start seeking a partner that aligns with your personal brand, and then, it's can have the makings of a beautiful joint venture.. Give it a shot, and if it doesn’t work, well, there’s always the chance for a hostile takeover :)

Find Me a Find, Catch Me a Catch

Like I said in my one and only blog entry to date, we sing a lot in our office. I've been humming "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof in my head today.

Yes, I've taken the plunge. I signed up for Match.com yesterday. My first foray into the online dating world. In setting up my profile, I flew through the preliminary questions with ease, keeping in mind the sound advice of E-squared... let your personality show. Kinda hard though when you only get 200 characters. But then I got to the "About Me" section. This is the space to really let your personality shine. Talk about who you are and who/what you are looking for. The text field was huge... daunting in fact... maximum 4,000 characters. 4,000?! You would think I would revel in such luxury of space for words ... until I tried to write. I hit a brick wall.

"If you're looking for a fun-loving, adventurous person up for new challenges, that's me!" STOP. Delete, delete, delete. This is not a want-ad and definitely no cheese, please. "I'm a single, divorced woman looking for...". STOP. Delete, delete, delete. That says nothing about me but stating the obvious. I need inspiration... why is this so difficult? Ok, I'll look at the sample profiles. "Hi, I'm putting a beacon out there. Yes, I'm single." That's the opening line of one of their sample profiles? Ok I would never use the word "beacon", so that's out. Next one... "I'm a laid-back dude that doesn't mind the occasional Happy Meal." Seriously, these are the sample opening lines? Ok that guy's is kinda funny about the Happy Meal, but I can't use that material. I start writing again. Words are flowing, but I stop, reread, and delete, delete, delete.

Maybe I should just put in my headline "Fun-loving, adventurous, over-thinker"!

It’s a small world after all

A few of my friends packed up this weekend for a trip to Disneyland with their family and I couldn’t help but start singing the tune to the good old Mickey Mouse Club. Yes, before the days of Hannah Montana and High School Musical, there was the Mickey Mouse Club to entertain the children of America. Back in the day when Britney was an innocent little girl and Justin Timberlake’s blonde curls were not nearly as hot a commodity as they are today. But I digress…

I also couldn’t help but be reminded of another Disney attraction that haunts me to this day – Small World. Not the ride itself, but the fact that the lyrics are oh so true! Case in point, with my POF social experiment in full swing, I’ve been more than entertained by the fish in the sea and I’ve been talking to a few guys so far. There is one fish in particular that has caught my attention though. We’ll call him “Croutons” for the sake of this post (DISCLAIMER – I do not give dates real names until I know they’re meant to stay for a while).

I’d been emailing with Croutons for a few days and the back-and-forth exchange was actually quite fun. So, we took it to the next step and so began the texting. There was something familiar about him though, and I couldn’t quite place where I had seen him before…his picture to be precise. And so, after a couple days of racking my brain and putting my detective skills to good use, I finally put two and two together…he was friends with someone I’m very close with and I’d seen his picture on her FB friends. A quick text to verify and POOF, we had an instant connection to spark even more conversation.

At the end of a very pleasant first phone call, Croutons suggested a chance to get to know each other better over drinks. He was direct, confident, made decisions easily. So refreshing in the, “where you do you want to go?” “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” world of indecisive conversations so many people face on a first date. And so we met, at a great bar in our suburb town, enjoyed a couple glasses of wine and talked and laughed for over three hours. We even had a laugh over our mutual friend because as luck would have it, this mutual friend has actually talked to both of us at some point about introducing us. I don’t know where things will go with Croutons, but sheesh, it really is a small world after all!

"F" is for ....

As you know from my previous blogs, Wednesday is THE night of the week for my whatever--date night, GNO. Name it-it's usually planned and always fun. Lately, that means spending time with D, the totally hot, totally cool, new guy in my life. Which brings me to my newfound, new four F's. Similar to Marketing's four Ps, in my recently found BF/GF relationship bliss, everything lately has revolved around the four Fs. Last Wednesday, and for that matter, all week, was no exception.
.
Flexible. Had to switch our Wednesday nite to Tuesday. Dinner at his house already planned, he never hesitated. Not a problem. How about an hour's notice of meeting my friends (for the first time) instead of just the two of us hanging out. No issues.

Fun. Our time spent together is always easy and effortless. Whether it's early morning football over bloody marys, watching a movie, or meeting up with family. We make it about the fun.

Foundation. OK, so this is where I go a little deeper. Every successful partnership needs a solid foundation build from mutual respect, mutual understanding, and most of all mutual trust. So, when faced with adversity or conflict, there's nothing that we can't face together.

Family. Deciding when to introduce your kids to your guy is a big deal. It better be the real deal and you better be right. So, when it happens, and you bond over Wii and end with hugs all around, you know it's right.

Friends. Fans. The future. Fill in your F, and see where it takes you. I can't wait to see where my new relationship goes next.

Are there really plenty of fish in the sea?

So last weekend I started a social dating experiment and found myself signing up for PlentyOfFish (POF). After spending time with two women I completely admire and respect, and hearing their stories of finding wonderful men in the POF pond, I figured it was worth a shot. And regardless of if I actually do meet someone, it’s definitely serving the purpose of providing plenty of entertainment!

Within two hours of signing up and completing the list of questions (so much shorter and easier than eHarmony by the way), I had five emails from guys wanting to take me out over the weekend. Now let me just say, none of them were really guys I was interested in going out with (think Jersey Shore but the Sacramento version), but they were bold and entertaining nonetheless.

What is amazing about POF is the abundance of guys on the site, and the option for them to be honest if they’re looking for a relationship, looking for a buddy to hang out with (see previous “buddy zone” post), looking for a casual hook-up, or just looking to meet new people in the area. It’s amazing just how honest people are. And my favorite question (that requires and answer), “Do you have a car?” Hilarious!

If you find yourself in a dating rut, or you just want to be entertained for a bit, check out POF (plentyoffish.com). If you don’t like it, hey, it’s free so you’re not out anything. And you never know, your Mr. Right could be out there waiting for you. In the meantime, I’m sure I’ll have more fishing stories for you very soon!

The many layers of love…

There’s a big difference between like and love. To steal a line from 10 Things I Hate About You, “I like my Skechers but I love my Prada backpack.” Ok, so that’s a materialistic example, but it means something. So often we get caught somewhere in the love/like conflict, but if it’s really love, you’ll no doubt feel the difference.

Over time I’ve realized there are many layers of love. There’s the love you have for your family – love that is strong as steel and means that no matter what, you would do anything for that other person. There’s the love you have for your friends – love that may require you to bend and sway over time, but no matter what happens, through thick and thin, you’ll stand by them. And then there’s the love you feel for that someone special in your life – the kind of love that grows stronger and stronger over time and makes you feel complete inside.

It’s quite possible you can feel all these types of love at the same time and it’s a wonderful thing. Even more wonderful is when those you love feel the same way about you. And if they don’t, that’s ok too. Don’t let the other person’s level of “love” stop you from loving each and every day. Tell people you love them with no expectation of hearing the words in return. There’s something to that old saying, “Love like you’ve never been hurt.” If you can let yourself go there, it’s truly and amazing feeling, and quite honestly, it can be contagious!

Third Wednesday Thanks!

You know you've met the right guy for you when you're ready to give thanks. And I don't mean the expected "amazing date...thx" or the "wow..thanks for being there for me." Those are given. I mean during chill time (for me, a buble bath), feeling an amazing amount of gratitude for relationships past--freeing you to appreciate the guy standing right in front of you, whose witty, online text happened to catch your eye. I've finally met THAT guy who does it for me. Super cool (love his old school pumas), honest and open, doesn't play games, shares similar interests (tennis and golf...really!), and what my married frined Stacey likes to call a similar "lifespace." That time in your life where you both instinctively know the type of relationship and partner that you want and don't want and the foundation you want to build with somene else. And suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to reach out and THANK all those guys in my past that didn't work out, weren't the right fit, or that I didn't settle for--my ex, the player, the hottie, the nice guy, my LDR, the sexter--and similar women in his life. Because they totally helped us arrive at that point where we recognized quickly and with surprisingly clear decisiveness that we've now encountered THAT person that makes us smile without trying, who we can't imagine not being with, whose touch is a great combination of awesome and sexy, and, total bonus, is equally into us.

So, I caught some flack since my last two posts over me and my guy's "perfect dates." If you're in that camp, you may want to stop readinjg. You're about to gag again. Yesterday, I spent my third consecutive Wednesday with D, playing hooky from work. He drove out to pick me up. On a perfect fall morning, we head to The Ridge golf course, beautiful track, where I proceed to take him to the 17th green in our little match play wager. Lose, but really win because what an amazing time. Followed it up with drinks at the course, a fabulous dinner in town, more amazing conversation, all so easy, all so wow. And an invite to meet his parents and family. Isn't that what a perfect date with a perfect guy is supposed to be about? Thanks to the universe for allowing D to walk into my life and our execs to walk out. I can't wait for next Wednesday!

Katy Perry wrote my dating theme song!

And men say women are hard to understand! I’m gonna break it down – at the end of the day, women are simple! They want to be wanted (Cheap Trick said it), appreciated (thank you and I love you are needed every now and then) and for men to be honest (although not always easy, it is the best policy). What we don’t want is to be on a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions and stuck analyzing “where is this relatinoship going.”

Enter Katy Perry’s “Hot N Cold” song, which I like to think was released to pretty much sum up the guys I’ve recently dated. Take into consideration the lyrics:

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

Guys, take it from me…this little “yo-yo” game you play is not fun for anyone (and shame on you if you’ve been on the receiving end before because you know it sucks)! So here’s where the honesty part comes in – if you like the girl, don’t play games. If you don’t, don’t play games. We’ve all seen “He’s Just Not that Into You” and we know how it goes. No one should have to ride the relationship rollercoaster or waste any time questioning your intentions. We know “you don’t really want to say no, YOU! but you, really don’t want to go-go.” Trust me though, eventually we catch on to your “case of a love bipolar” and we’re done.

Second Wednesday...

I can’t believe a week has gone by already…so, OK ladies. Who would want to come home and see your date waiting for you at your house? And who wants to go run around a tennis court burning calories and taking the stress off the day with a super cool guy? And who would want to walk around a moonlit lake holding hands and talking? Who would want to enjoy a meal and a movie snuggling on the couch? Who would want to do all that?? Me! And, I did…because it was Wednesday night!!! What’s up for next Wednesday?

It Happens on Wednesday…

Wednesday night. Hump day, mid-week, just another night ho-hum night to most people, right?!? Since my divorce three years ago, Wednesdays have been THAT evening that this single girl with three kids gets all to herself—no carting kids to soccer or dance practice, no listening to Dr. Suess AGAIN, no helping with pre-algebra (WHAT!), no responsibilities. Doesn’t matter what I’ve planned—GNOs (that always rock), online meet & greets (gulp), I always look forward to what Wednesdays bring. Which takes me to eight days ago…and this site’s initial blog. I was the one with the first date. And what a date it was. Who gets locked into a golf course after chipping and putting? I mean, locked in where you can’t drive your car out of the parking lot! And, who, after a Blue Moon or two on the putting green with a totally cute, totally funny, totally cool, single guy (apparently they exist!), decides, eh….let’s just leave our cars and walk to grab a bite. No freak-out panic, just grins and laughs, and a reach for my hand. And, who blows off the sushi restaurant down the block to walk several miles down a completely dark Green Valley Road to a bar called Purple Place, where we play darts (and tie), shoot pool, play shuffleboard and roll dice—all totally digging on this AMAZING guy. I distinctly remember the point at which reality set in. He called his friend, let him know we were stranded (my iPhone conveniently dead). Instead of bailing us out, we decided WTF. We got into this together, we’ll get out of it together. One short cab ride later to a nearby Folsom hotel, decide take the stairs and avoid the Intel pin-striped suit guys. “Happened” upon the indoor pool and hot tub. After a swift “turn around!” there we were—strangers in a hot tub, who had totally clicked and bonded over the past several hours after responding to an online question…”Golf and tennis…where have you been?” OK, so it didn’t hurt that he passed my personal litmus test. The kiss. Confident, with just the right flipping amount of passion. He had it. Fast forward to the morning, grabbed a cab back to our parked cars, and went our separate ways. Talked later. Agreed that our first date was, if you really counted all that we did, like 15 dates combined into one series of crazy events. Somehow, we had bypassed the sometimes slow, awkward do-I-really-like-you stage, and went straight to wow…you are someone I want to get to know better. As one of my best guy friends likes to remind me, dating is supposed to be FUN. Look for my weekly Wednesday night blogs, where I hope to revel in the FUN and adventure of getting to know my “best first date ever” guy plus more!

Things that make you go "hmmm."

We sing a lot in our office. Actually we turn everything into a song or a line from a song. And just this morning, my colleague sang “Things that make you go hmmm,” which inspired my first blog entry…

I find myself saying “hmmm” quite often in my encounters with the opposite sex, especially since recently re-entering the dating world. I’ll chalk it up to my age and having been married before, but some men never cease to amaze me and make me go “hmmm, he didn’t just say that did he?’ or “hmmm, I don’t think so buddy.”

I recently was invited by my cousin, also single, to happy hour drinks and to meet one of her longtime male friends that she thought might be a “prospect” for me. I checked him out on Facebook, of course, and was feeling optimistic from the photo despite not being able to access any other info on his profile. First words out of his mouth when my cousin introduced us were “I can’t believe you got that close to gorillas.” Huh? What? I’m sure the look on my face prompted him to say “Yeah, I checked you out on Facebook and really liked all your photos from Africa.” Hmmm. Note to self – change security settings on Facebook.

Happy hour continued… and seemed to extend beyond the usual hours of a happy hour. The 3 of us co-mingled with other barflies who seemed to have been there all day judging from their first-name basis with the bartenders, wait staff, and whoever else walked by. I noticed one “gentleman” (my polite referral to someone much older than me!) had a British accent. Having lived in London for a while, I overheard the accent and made a beeline to the gentleman to strike up a conversation. I merely wanted to find out where exactly he was from. I quickly realized that this gentleman had been sipping (or gulping in his case) Patron for several hours and clearly had left his inhibitions on the bar counter. We chatted about England, and he declared he was from “somewhere you haven’t heard of – Slough.” Uh yes, I HAVE heard of it actually; that was the location for the original “The Office” series in the UK! And so it went on… our occasionally funny, but mostly slurred, banter was providing some entertainment. It continued for about 15-20 minutes until my cousin and friend were ready to pack it in for the night. Stumbling forward and dangerously close to grabbing onto me for stability, the “gentleman” proceeded to boldly shout in front of the entire bar full of patrons “So… when am I gonna see you again?”. Hmmm, really? Did he just say that? And with his outside voice?! I stammered to get any words out and knew that nothing was going to come out right. But then, the gentleman would never remember any of this is in the morning…

Caution: now entering the “buddy” zone

My entire life I’ve been blessed with great friends, and yes, a lot of male friends to boot. I don’t know what it is, but I’m practically instant buds with every guy I meet. Sometimes it’s a blessing and a curse! Why a curse you ask? Well, it goes a little something like this…

About a year ago, I met a guy...completely outside of my normal “type,” but something just clicked and we started dating. He was fun, affectionate, caring…everything was great, and we dated for a few months. And then one day, names like “babe” and “hon” were replaced with “buddy,” “homie” and “nerd.” Ok ladies, these are not terms of endearment, no matter how comfortable either of you are in your relationship. While he might be comfortable, you’ve now officially transitioned from girlfriend to girl pal, a.k.a, buddy. In other words, he’s most likely lost that lovin feelin (cue Maverick and Goose in their hot Navy whites in the middle of a bar).

Now, if you’re me, and you’ve had guy friends your entire life, it might take you a while to figure this out, and even longer to understand how you can transition from girlfriend to buddy overnight. It’s not easy.

Who knows, maybe you feel the same way – you like the guy but think you’re better friends – or maybe you are hurt, confused and can’t imagine being “just friends” after you’ve had this strong romantic connection with him. All I can say is, go with your gut and stick to your decision. Your heart often knows things before your head does, so make sure you listen to that voice inside you, and proceed with caution when entering the “buddy” zone!

Social Media - the new cupid?

According to recent studies, one out of eight couples married in the US met via social media.*

eHarmony, Match.com, PlentyofFish, Yahoo!Personals, and many, many more...they're all social media outlets designed to help bring single people together. Depending on your level of comfort in the online dating space, there's more than likely a site out there that's right for you. A few tips from someone who's been there, done that, and yes, even considered going back for more (hey, if nothing else, it's entertaining):

1. Spend time on your profile - let your personality show, make sure your pictures are current (we don't really care what you looked like three+ years ago), and please, please use spell check!

2. Be patient - online dating can be like a part-time job. Dedicate some time to it and know Rome wasn't built in a day, neither will a relationship.

3. Safety first - the online world can be scary, so be cautious. Always meet in public places for the first time and tell someone where you're going to be. Also, maybe shoot for drinks or coffee on a first date rather than committing to something more concrete like dinner or a movie. It gives you the opportunity to feel things out a little and see if there's enough there to schedule a second date.

4. Have fun - you never know, that person you meet could make you one of the eight US couples to get married someday! And if nothing else, you could meet some really great people along the way!


*YouTube video, "Is Social Media a fad or the biggest shift since the industrial revolution?"

The beginning

"I have a date tonight!" The quote that started it all while sitting around a lunch table at work one day. It was a group of women, all different ages, all different walks of life, and yes, almost all single. We've all dated our fair share of losers, and yes even some winners, and have experiences to share.

While single life is the "greatest thing in the world" or the most pitied lifestyle depending on who you talk to, I can't help but revert back to the hopeless romantic inside of me, and hope there's a man out there for me. In the meantime, I'll have the pleasure of sharing the stories of navigating my way through the world of singlehood in the suburbs, and with a little help from some friends (and willing blog contributors), hopefully entertain you! We're bringing our conversations around the lunch table to a computer near you.